“My boss asked casually how I spent my weekend. I want to keep my life private.”
“My parents criticized my decision to start a business. They are convinced we will be soon. Living in a homeless shelter”
“My friends invited me to lunch last week and I just do not have time for a social event “
As you start a new project. – – Labor, business, promotion, transfer – you may find that you are living in a glass bubble. Friends, colleagues and family watching closely, wondering if they’ll pick up the pieces after midlife crisis career crash.
You love them, but you need to set limits. Life gets crowded when you live in a small bubble.
1. Draw your own border card before getting caught in tough conditions. If you are clear on your needs, your curves will be solid.
2. When you are asked a tough question, use the opportunity to send the message you want to send
Q :. “Should not you be spending more time with your family?” A: “I have a wonderful family I told my daughter starts high school basketball team her son just won the award for ….?”
3. Skip Apologies and explanations unless you really need forgiveness
Q :. “? Can we meet for lunch next week”
A: “Gee, I’m so sorry, but I have all these errands to run, and my mother will be visiting, and …”
Ouch! Let’s try it again:
A “. I always enjoy lunch with you, but this week will not work for me, I can call you back to set up a time”
OR (if you never want to have lunch with this person):
A “.. Lunches do not work with my schedule let’s stay in touch via email”
4. The loan money or ask for favors will erode boundaries.
If your parents lend you $ 20,000 to buy a house, they deserve regularly about your financial status.
If a colleague watching your cat for a week, she will expect holiday stories (as well as a lovely gift and a promise to hire a babysitter next time).
5. If you find yourself surrounded by people who push boundaries, consider reviewing priorities with a coach, a counselor or a trusted friend. Your words and actions can be a sign, “Come in!” when the brain says, “Hold!”
Finally, do not beat yourself up! Genuine self-acceptance and self-confidence will prevent most goals-trespassers.
And sometimes you stop to free boundaries, recognizing that life in a glass bubble can also bring unexpected help, surprise and even prizes.